


Older Than You Think We Are

by TheGreatElisaMousy



Series: Chaos in College [15]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:27:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22364848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatElisaMousy/pseuds/TheGreatElisaMousy
Summary: It's the twins' birthday! Of course, it's really short notice, what's everyone going to do?
Series: Chaos in College [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570645
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Older Than You Think We Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doctor_Discord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/gifts).



> So, I admit, I've got the dates SLIGHTLY off, because the Jims' birthday is October 14th, which was actually over the fall break (it was a Monday, class resumed the following Wednesday). So... I had to play with it JUUUUUST a little. Sorry if this one is a little weird, but so far, the only one whose birthday celebration I know how it's going is the Host's. (Also, the title comes from the fact that the Jims are turning 124—not that anyone but Dark and Wil know that. Or will know that for a while. I started writing this in 2019, so their first semester is Fall 2019)
> 
> And hey, a birthday fic for our dear Doctor_Discord's birthday!

CJ hummed to himself as he grabbed his Pop-Tart that had just popped out of the toaster. Today was going to be a good day. He just _knew_ it.

"Are you humming 'happy birthday'?" Bim asked, sipping his coffee.

"I can't believe you haven't told anyone yet," Dark said from his spot at the table, looking at CJ.

The Jim just grinned. "Guess it never came up. _And_ we got busy." He turned to Bim. "It's my and RJ's birthday today!"

Bim just looked at him for a second, and CJ guessed he was probably _also_ surprised. He, admittedly, couldn't blame him, considering how loud and vocal the twins usually were. "Well, happy birthday, then, I guess." He paused. "How old are you, anyway?"

CJ could _feel_ the look Dark was giving him without even having to turn around. He was willing to bet that the demon would _not_ be happy if he said 124. "That's our secret," he replied cryptically instead. He looked at Bim curiously. He realized that he and RJ had never collected some very crucial information about their roommates. "When's your birthday?"

"December 10th," Bim replied easily. "A pretty long way away." He sighed. "I'm pretty sure I have a final on my birthday, too. First thing in the morning. Yay."

CJ just laughed, making a mental note to find out everyone else's birthdays later. For now, however, he had to get to class.

* * *

_Did anyone else know it's the twins' birthday today?_

Dr. Iplier raised a brow at the text. It looked like a group chat, including everyone in the townhouse... except CJ and RJ. There was a collection of _no_ 's, save for Dark and Wil. Considering the four of them had lived together before starting school, that didn't surprise the med student in the slightest.

 _Dude, we should throw them a party!_ Bing suggested.

 _We don't even know what they like._ Dr. Iplier could already imagine the dry tone Google would have been using with the other android.

_Get them any kind of camera equipment, and they'll be happy._

_Dark,_ Dr. Iplier began. _I don't know if you've noticed, but we're all college students. Camera equipment is EXPENSIVE. How are we supposed to afford anything?_

_Let me worry about the money. We can go when everyone is out of class._

_And what do we tell the Jims?_ Silver asked.

_That's something the Host can take care of. Just be sure to pick out something from him._

* * *

"Wil, I am not sitting on your lap," Dark told him as they all approached Dr. Iplier's van. It comfortably fit eight people. Unfortunately, their little entourage consisted of nine.

"Then I can sit on yours!" he replied easily.

" _No._ "

"Why don't you two just, y'know, teleport?" Ed asked, crossing his arms.

Dark gave him a blank look. "In case you hadn't noticed, I've been trying to keep a relatively low profile. I feel like people may notice if we just appear in the middle of Wal-Mart. Hence why we're driving."

"Except that we don't all fit in my van," Dr. Iplier pointed out.

"Well... I could drive," Bim offered. "No one has to sit on anyone's lap, and if anyone goes with me, then hey, more room in the van."

"I'll ride with you," King suggested with a smile. Bim just smiled back.

"So," Dr. Iplier stated. "With that settled... Maybe we should get going before they get too suspicious."

Bim and King headed off in the direction of Bim's car, while everyone else piled into Dr. Iplier's van. "Hey, Dr. Iplier?" Bing asked. "What did the Host mean when he said he can 'take care of it'?"

* * *

RJ shifted excitedly in his seat as CJ finished getting the camera set up. The Host sat across from him, picking idly at his sleeves.

This time about a month ago, both Jims would probably be nervous to be alone with the Host, but they'd realized and accepted by now that this was a very different person than the man who'd scarred them both. Oddly enough, it helped that he turned his head away or just flat out winced when either of their shirts rode up, beginning to reveal the crisscross of ugly lines marring their backs and stomachs. The Author would have been proud to see his marks on them, but the Host? From what the twins could gather, he still had the memories of the Author, and he felt nothing but guilt.

Marrin on the Air had been running for a few weeks, and there'd been a lot of curiosity about the Host. People in his classes, as well as some of their friends, could identify him, but to most of the student body, he was a mysterious, faceless voice to listen to via the Marrin on the Air app. There wasn't much going on around campus for the moment, and the Host had offered—much to their delight and surprise—to do a short interview that night. Whether it was a birthday present or just really convenient timing, they weren't sure, but they weren't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

CJ, finished with the equipment, held up three fingers. Two. One.

"Hello everyone, I'm Jim, here with Jim for the Jim Reports!" RJ started. "And boy, do we have a special story for you. As I'm sure many of you know, along with the Jim reports, we recently got a radio program, Marrin on the Air. Well, we're here with the host of the show himself, the Host!"

The Host actually laughed at the reporter's wording. "How eloquent," he commented.

RJ stuck his tongue out at him. It wouldn't be the first time he'd done something childish in front of the camera, and it definitely wouldn't be the last. Composing himself, he said, "Now, you said this morning that your first 'question and answer' session is going to be this Friday. Care to explain that a little?"

"Well, the Host used to run a radio show before he came to SUNY Marrin, Morning with the Host," he began. "And that was one of his occasional segments."

"How do you get the questions?" RJ asked. He knew the answer to his own question, but he doubted the Host wanted to explain his powers to people, and it was _bound_ to come up from one of the listeners eventually. Especially now that they could easily see he was blind.

"The Host has a program on his computer that reads him the questions out loud, from a forum he put online," he replied easily. "He shuffles through a few, scrolling up and down, before clicking at random. The program would then read whatever comment he just clicked."

"How do you avoid accidentally just closing the window?" RJ asked, and now he was genuinely curious. If the Host actually did that sometimes, rather than activating his Sight, then that could, quite honestly, be a legitimate concern.

To his surprise, a light blush graced the Host's face. "It... has happened before," he admitted sheepishly. "It's an easy enough fix, but... it does take a few minutes to get back up and running, and the Host ends up just... silent on the air. There are just a few quiet moments, because he always recorded live. More than a few times, people thought something was and wrong and the Host had to explain, live on the air, how he fucked up."

RJ couldn't help it. He laughed. "So, that might be a problem here, then, too?"

"... Yes."

The reporter grinned, pulling out his phone. "Mind if we look at the forum now, ask a few questions?"

"The Host doesn't mind," he replied.

"Okay, let's see here..." RJ muttered, scrolling through the forum on the school's website. "Here's one. Why do you always talk in the third person? Is it some kind of stage persona?"

He shook his head. "It's just the way the Host is. He's always spoken like this." It didn't escape RJ's notice—or CJ's, probably—that he'd avoided answering part of the question. And while he was curious, he'd save that particular question for _after_ they were done. He was already starting to look uncomfortable, and they'd learned that stress could cause him to bleed. And since neither of them knew where Dr. Iplier was at the moment...

"What's your major?" he read.

The Host's posture relaxed a bit, though he was picking at his sleeves again. "The Host is a Creative Writing major," he stated. "And yes, he knows, 'how can he be a writer if he's blind?'" He smiled mysteriously. "The Host has many secrets, and that is one of them. All he'll say is that he _can_ write, and probably has the best handwriting of everyone he lives with." His smile turned teasing. "Even the Jims."

"Hey!" both yelled indignantly.

The Host ignored them both, turning to face the camera. "It's true. Viewers should really see the Jims' handwriting. It's atrocious. The Host only knows one person with worse handwriting, but he's a doctor. They write exclusively in chicken scratch."

"Rude!" RJ exclaimed, but he was laughing. "Okay, one more question. Gotta save _some_ of these for Friday." He looked back down at his phone. "Let's see, what's a good one...? Ah-ha!" He grinned, looking up at the Host repeatedly as he read. "'You've got such a sexy voice. Do you have a girlfriend yet? Because I'd be _happy_ to be that if you don't.'" He'd tried to keep his composure, but he'd slowly devolved into laughter as the post continued.

It didn't help that the Host had started to blush. "Well, no," he said carefully. "But he's also not really looking for anything like that right now, and he... kind of plays for the other team."

"I didn't know that," RJ commented.

"RJ never asked," he replied.

That was fair. He turned back to the camera. "Well, you heard it here, folks, the Host is _not_ looking for a relationship, and even if he was, he's off the market for you, ladies. Marrin on the Air runs Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, so give our dear friend a listen. Thanks for tuning in!"

A second passed, and CJ made a motion that RJ had long learned meant that the camera was off. A 'cut' motion, as it were. "I can't believe you actually suggested this!" he commented, jogging over on set, putting a hand on the Host's forehead. "Are you okay?"

The Host batted the hand away. "The Host is _fine_. He just knew the Jims were looking for something to report on, so he thought he'd help out." His phone went off and he pulled it out of his pocket, muttering to himself as he unlocked it. "Perfect timing," he said after a moment, turning back to the twins. "The Host suggests he and the Jims head back to the townhouse."

"Why?"

"Just come on," he replied cryptically, leading the way out of the building.

* * *

The townhouse was unusually dark when they arrived. Even when no one was home, there was usually at least the kitchen light on, but all the lights were off. The Host opened the door, but rather than entering, he just gestured the Jims inside. More curious than anything, they complied.

Much to their surprise, as soon as they crossed into the building, the lights turned on. All of their roommates were gathered, and a few yelled, "Surprise!" Bim even had a noisemaker.

"You guys..." CJ said, stunned. Both twins turned around to look at the Host.

"The Host _may_ have had and ulterior motive to giving the Jims an interview," he confessed. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Everyone else needed to go out and then set up without them getting suspicious."

"Why would they need to...?" RJ started, but trailed off when he saw the pile of presents on the coffee table. "Presents!" he exclaimed, rushing over, followed by CJ. Everyone laughed, and Dark disappeared into the Void.

He appeared not even a second later, in front of the pile, holding a hand up. "You know the rules," he told them. "Cake first." He looked behind the twins. "Wil? Mind getting the cake for us?"

"You got it!" the pink haired man replied, rushing into the kitchen and returning with a large, two tier cake, covered in blue frosting with a camera and microphone cake topper. There was a pair of fake, electric candles next to them.

"We didn't want the fire alarm to go off," Dark told them. "So, unfortunately, we couldn't use real candles."

The twins just stared. Dark had never made them a cake this big before. Then again, they'd only had to split the cake between four in the past, not twelve. A moment later, a pair of paper plates and forks were being thrust at them. Dark was already cutting the cake—he'd learned quickly, several decades ago, that if he tried to let one of them cut it, they'd fight over the right, and subsequently the knife—and putting a slice on each.

They dug in. Just like every year previous, Dark's reverse marble cake was made to perfection. Just the right ratio of chocolate to vanilla, a balance of rich and fluffy. They barely even registered the others getting their slices.

" _God_ , can you make _my_ birthday cake?" Bim asked. Dark just chuckled in response, but nodded. The twins just grinned at each other. Dark would take any excuse to bake, and they both knew it.

Soon enough, the cake was being put away in the fridge, everyone's plates empty, and now it was time to turn to the presents.

One after another, they ripped the paper off each, revealing some of the best and newest recording equipment out there. It was clear Dark had paid for it all. They were especially pleased with the new lapel mics—their old ones had gotten lost _somewhere_ in the manor—and the brand new, just released boom.

The box from Dark was smaller than most of the others, and significantly lighter. The Jims looked at each other before tearing into it together, revealing a few small CD binders. CJ flipped through one, to find it packed with the first few seasons of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. He looked up at Dark in confusion.

"The gift was, technically, the binders," the demon explained. "But you were complaining about how there was no way you'd be able to bring your Buffy DVDs, because there just wouldn't be enough room, so..." He motioned to the binders. "Now you have enough room."

They both grinned. "Thanks!"

RJ turned to the group. "Thank you for this, _everyone_! Best birthday ever!" He threw himself on the couch while CJ turned on the television and put the first disk in. He then immediately sat down next to his twin, and slowly, the others found places in the room to sit as RJ pressed play on the remote.

" _In every generation, there is a_ _Chosen_ _One..._ "

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't entirely sure what the Jims should get for their birthdays. Recording equipment, yes, of course, but I wanted to get them something else, too. First thought was the DVDs themselves, before realizing they probably already own them. But I also own a SHIT ton of DVDs, and it's hard to bring a bunch to college, because there just isn't enough room. Especially with eleven roommates, I'd assume. It was also originally going to be Supernatural, because I can see them also enjoying that show, but Supernatural is also still on Netflix. Buffy was taken off a few years ago (still kinda salty about that), so... Yeah. But again, they'd probably own the DVDs. Thus, Dark found them a way to bring the show with them without taking up a crazy amount of room.
> 
> (Also, the Host was a bit more comfortable coming out to basically everyone because SUNY Marrin is INCREDIBLY LBGT-welcoming)
> 
> Next time is Bim getting a little too nosy in other people's business, but it's ultimately going to work out for the better. I've been looking forward to this for a while, and what better day to start it than my own birthday?


End file.
